MAN ABOUT TOWN: A Restorative Trip to Brown’s Hardware

By GEORGE SOUTHERN
Falls Church Times Staff

January 18, 2010

This is the story of how the Man About Town descended into deep dungeon, and how he was restored to good spirits. It is told in the hopes that others may be helped as well.

It all began last week with a scheduling conflict which prevented me from attending the City Council meeting. I rarely used to go to these things, but after investing in a fancy digital camera with a long lens, I started having fun, shooting close-ups of various speakers and generally acting like the paparazzi.

One time recently during a Council work session in the City’s training room, I was hovering around, snapping away, when the Mayor told me I was making her nervous, and suggested I take my pictures from the audience gallery. Trouble is, all you get from there is the back of speakers’ heads – which, if you’ve seen our recently featured video, is all the City cameraman got of property owner Thomas Sawner addressing the Council. But since then I’ve tried not to make the Mayor nervous, at least not with my camera.

After missing last week’s Council session, I decided to watch it on the City’s website. As reported by George Bromley, this is when Council voted to move local elections from May to November without a referendum, and to move toward loaning $2 million to the Falls Church Housing Corporation for a Seniors housing complex. There was also some mention of a $9 million budget deficit which would need to be dealt with at a time more convenient to the Council.

The meeting lasted from 7:30 p.m. to 12:05 a.m. – 4 ½ hours on the small screen. That’s the equivalent of watching “Avatar” 1 ½ times but without any rose-colored glasses. I did it as a service to the community, and when it was over I wanted to go eat worms.

At each Council meeting, the public has the opportunity to speak for 3 minutes, and there are usually a few folks who do that. But by my count, four Council members have publicly deprecated those who have made the effort to come and speak. These outspoken residents are not, it seems, part of the “silent majority,” and their opinions do not reflect those of the “man on the street.” Then why waste both the Council’s and the citizens’ time to even have public comments?

So, in deep despair, I was thinking that the whole local government thing was beginning to resemble a show trial. If this is all we get, what’s the point of even having a Little City? It was at that point, walking down Broad Street, that I remembered I needed electrical tape. So I headed toward Brown’s Hardware.

Even before I got there I was feeling better. Maybe it’s a guy thing, but as day is to night, so going to Brown’s Hardware is as going to the dentist, or to traffic court, or to a City Council meeting. There is no better opposite.

Entering Brown’s, one immediately is reassured of an order in the world. Everything a reasonable person could ever need is neatly laid out, from floor to ceiling. The place is chock full but with no sense of jumble. Advancing to the counter, I was greeted by a clerk I hadn’t met before, but he fulfilled all my expectations. I needed, I said, electrical tape. Immediately he headed down an aisle. “Black”? he asked.

I had never bought electrical tape any color but black, but immediately realized that white tape would be far more elegant on my bike. Anywhere but Brown’s I would have been on my own to purchase a $1.79 item. But here you get service, advice, and counsel at no extra charge.

I remember a trip to Brown’s when I needed a ¼ inch compression washer. This time I was helped by the clerk with the grey goatee. He led me to the back of the store, fished into a cardboard box, and brought up some washers. “How many?” he asked.

Well, I only needed one. The question was, should I buy a spare? “How much are they?” I asked, stalling for time.

“19 cents.”

I was struck with indecision. Fortunately, my goateed, patient friend offered counsel: “Splurge,” he said. So I bought two.

Anyway, this time I bought a roll of white tape, a roll of black tape, and then I remembered I also needed glue, so I bought several kinds of that, too. The goods all went into a sturdy, small paper bag resonating with good karma. The red-headed young clerk I’ve seen there for years rang me up. I remember once he confided in me that the old-timers wouldn’t let him do all the things they did. Apparently you need to work 10-20 years at Brown’s to be fully qualified.

I left Brown’s with a song in my heart. There, in one small spot, was evidence of thrift, order (both physical and fiscal), helpfulness, courtesy, honesty, and continuity (Brown’s has existed longer than General Motors – without a bankruptcy).

So, I know it’s whimsical, but instead of using the City’s training room, what if City Council work sessions were held at Brown’s Hardware? Just breathing the air there might improve the decision-making process.

And I’ll bet the Mayor would not be nearly as nervous.